Elle Looking at Mommy.MOV

So this is my Elle - she's such a blast!

Lowest Common Denominator

So I'm really not thrilled about this post, but I feel like I need to write it down... Do you ever have a thought or feeling that that isn't necessarily fully formed in your mind? It flits in and out on occasion but never sticks around long enough for you to fully recognize or seal with it - yesterday I had one of those that finally took it's full shape, so now I'm dealing with it. Of course it's related to sin in my life - why wouldn't it be?!

I'm sad to say that I don't seem to ever be able to affect the temperature of the conversations that happen around me. What I mean is that I don't seem to ever be able to change them. The best that I can do is to surround myself with people who walk closer to God than I do, so that I can stay out of trouble. Even this, though, causes problems for me. So many times I have walked away from conversations where have jumped across the line and put my foot so far into my mouth that I'm amazed it ever makes it back out again! It's usually for the sake of humor - which is just sad. What's even worse, is that I know who I can go to - who will get a kick out of what I have to say. Instead of looking to exhort my brothers and sisters closer to Christ, I appeal to their flesh and pull them back down - all for the sake of a laugh? I actually feel worse now that I've written it down. It didn't seem so intentional yesterday, but now it just sounds deranged. God says that our hearts are deceitfully wicked - in Psalm 139, David asks God to search his heart, find the wickedness and then to lead him away from it into the way everlasting. That's what I want - as awful as it is to see what's really there, I want God to search my heart, find the evil that's hidden neatly away, and lead me away from it. I want to walk close to the Lord in everything, and I want to to be used to bring others (all others) closer to Him - not exploit their weak areas. Love covers a multitude of sins - it doesn't use them as an excuse to sin.

Trials - Perseverance - Character - Hope....

"And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;  and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
Romans 5:3-5 (NASB)

Exult in what?? Oh yeah - in tribulations... Sometimes I get excited about suffering for Christ (in theory), but the reality is that suffering is suffering and its never naturally fun.  I think its easier when its a direct hit in a spiritual area because its easy to see where the attack is coming from - it becomes a natural reaction to throw on that spiritual armor and pray for God to be glorified.  But usually, its a bit more camouflaged - hidden somewhere between losing your keys, holding a crying baby, picking up the overly stuffed diaper bag and full day's worth of food bag only to realize that you still have to pick up the car seat and walk it all the way down the road where the giant truck that refuses to start on the first try is parked - and once you're all settled and tucked in, you realize you forgot your coffee.  Now that's a trial... I know it sounds petty and ridiculous, and honestly it absolutely is, but I found myself praising the Lord (out of obedience) through it all, because it was all a result of serving Jesus.  So Praise the Lord!  I know that daily sucking it up and dying to myself will force me to persevere.  I mean, really, there is no alternative - nothing in this life is worth quitting a life of serving God, so there is no option to quit - we simply must push on.  And in pushing on and persevering through the daily trials, my character is being built up and proven day by day by day.  And as I look back over those days, weeks, months and years, my hope increases as I see how faithful God has been to carry me through every single trial.  Surely, He will continue to carry me when I am tired, strengthen me when I am weak, feed me when I am out of money for groceries - why??? Because He always has!!!  This hope that I have WILL NOT disappoint, because it is a result of the Love that He has poured out in my heart through His Holy Spirit.  And where there is love, there is no fear - Because perfect love (Jesus Christ) casts out all fear.  Praise the Lord! I have nothing to fear, because I have Jesus.  I know that He is good - because His Word declares it is true and beyond that I have experienced it myself.  I know that He will take care of me - because my Bible tells me so (and because He always has).  So, what's a little rain that keeps me from going for a walk - Or a backache that will not go away no matter how many hundreds of IB Profin pills I take (not necessarily at once) - Or a baby that's sick and throwing up all over the place?  All these things exist to draw me closer to the Lord, to make me more like Jesus.  They might not seem spiritual in the moment, but these are tools God uses to bring Himself glory through my life.  Am I going to complain about them?  I hope not - at least not today anyways since its all so fresh in my mind.